When we remember we grow and learn, but we also feel the pain of the past and all that comes with it. Dealing with memories and the pain can be torturing to the point that it brings us to a place of despair and uncertainty. A place where I myself don't wish anyone or even my worst enemy to go. The past reveals itself within our present, trying to release itself from the claws of those who tormented us. Sometimes it comes without warning as a lion after its pray. Dealing with memories and unexpected flashbacks isn't easy, especially when the memories come in small fragments, dragging on and on as though it's never going to come to an end. Above all, those flashbacks that torment our minds even as we sit while talking with friends, its awful. Unwanted and unexpected memories that we would rather live without, yet there is a need within us to know. Why? Maybe because we are missing so much of ourselves in our life's, fragmented pieces with no where to place them. Yet we want to know even though its painful even though we fear putting the puzzle together we still want to know. We are stronger then we think so we go on looking, wondering and fighting for what we need to heal from. Since we have a need to know what, who, when and where and why... we must find ways of copping without feeling as though we're going to lose ourselves again or worse go insane. Since we have decided to know what was, we must find the strength within us. And believe it or not that strength is within us. Its our fear that keeps us from believing that we don't when we do.
Memories from the past, as you know can be difficult and facing them can be overwhelming, yet they help us grow and make us stronger. The more we face what happened, the more we trust ourselves and the more we care for ourselves and the easier it become. Remembering painful memories is heartbreaking, but it's something that must be done in order to move on and in order to heal from the pain. Accepting isn't easy but it comes with time, and with time we heal as we allow ourselves to heal.
I remember a time when accepting my memories was very difficult. When denying the memories wholeheartedly was my objective and my solution. I was too afraid to face them and it made it more difficult for me to move. One day I realized that I had to face the memories, get out of denial and in the long run everything sorted itself out. "Memories are like pieces to a puzzle, if it doesn't fit right away it will eventually go into its place. Sometimes we can't rush the memories and most of all looking for memories isn't a great idea; but for those memories that do come up, those are the ones that have to be sorted and put into place with courage and strength.
Everything takes time but if we look deep inside ourselves we can find the courage, and the strength to face the memories, work them through and move on. Still to this day I remember the struggles I went through and the pain that broke my heart, but I found hope within myself and kept it tight within my arms. We are all strong and we are survivors and we all walk in victory, we have to find way to move on. You will make it through! So don't lose hope and don't give-up! It comes to the point where you will no longer feel the pain when you look back. You will walk in freedom and begin to grow and though it may seem like the end of the world, it isn't! I no longer struggle with the memories, it's like a bad nightmare that I had and no longer haunts me. I am free and you can be to, trust yourselves and always stand strong no matter how much it hurts, you will get through it all.
Stand Strong & Stay Safe
Keren Valentin... I believe in you!
Remembering
As I remember the past
it becomes unbearable.
We want to forget,
we want to leave it in the past
and go on,
but we can't!
Others tell me
forget the past
and don't dwell on it,
Yeah right!
People think its easy,
well it isn't!
if I could I would!
Even with so many of us inside,
the past still finds its way out.
When we remember we see everything
feeling the pain
reliving the nightmares.
I wish people would stop saying
let go.
Yet somewhere inside me,
we find the will to go on.
Why??
I don't know
but maybe,
just maybe
there might be something good ahead.
Acceptance is not submission
It is acknowledgment of
The Facts of a situation.
Then deciding what
you're going to do about it
By Kathleen Casey Theisen
