*This prayer is for those who feel that their at the end of a rope and feel like their hanging on a string.
There were many times I've felt so overwhelmed with chaos, so mentally drained that I thought I would surely go crazy or die. I felt so lost, so messed up and overwhelmed - that the thoughts of death and taking my life were constant thoughts in my everyday living. I thought it would be better for me to die then to go on with the chaos, flashbacks and pain. Then one day I cried out and took a stand, I was so weary I couldn't take it any longer... I reached out with all my heart in prayer to the only one that I knew who could help me and lift all this from me. So I cried out with all my heart and with all my pain!
And this is that prayer which I call the Survivors Prayer for those in utter chaos:
Dear God:
In Jesus Name, I come before you, asking you to take this chaos away from me, I can't bear this pain, this agony and turmoil anymore! I feel like I'm at the end of my rope and I can't take these memories and pain with these flashbacks anymore! Please hold onto me! I don't understand why I have to go through this pain, it's too much for me right now and I can't deal with this! I feel like I'm going crazy! Lord I know that you understand, you know me, I know you hear me! Please, please help me to overcome this moment, to overcome these thoughts, these flashbacks, this torment... hold onto me and don't let me go! I can't do this with out you! I can't take this anymore! All I know at this moment, is that I am going to believe in you and hold onto you I'm going to hold on for dear life! I'm going to believe that you won't let me go! That you will help me and hold me and save me from this chaos and pain! Only you can help me though this! Only you can settle my mind and my heart! Help Me Lord... Hear my prayer! Help me and comfort me now! Before its too late! Before I take my life! I won't let you go, I can't let you go until you touch me! Until you touch my mind, my thoughts and my heart! You said in your word that you don't give us more then we can handle... So I ask now in Jesus name to help me! I'm going to believe you with my whole heart until you answer me! Even though I'm afraid, even though I am exhausted mentally and physically, I'm going to take a stand and I'm going to believe in you for my peace of mind and my tormented heart, for clarity, safety and my healing! I'm not going to let you go! Hold me! Help Me! Please! Please, I'm believing in you! My faith might not be strong right now but I'm believing in you with what little faith I have. I'm putting my trust in you - that you won't let me go! I will not let go of you until you answer me! In Jesus Name I pray! Please help me now! Please!
Many times I have prayed that prayer, and many times he has given me peace when I needed it. Many times He has helped me through the moments of crisis when I thought it was going to end badly. I thank God, that he has seen me through many, many moments when I thought I would die or go insane. I have taken my stand with God and he has been faithful to his word. I no longer struggle as I use to, the battle is over, now I stand strong with God! Much healing has taken place and I no longer remember with pain or sorrow. I could look back now and it no longer overwhelms me, I made it through the worse. God has helped me through my journey of healing, walked with me through those hard moment where I thought that I wasn't going to make it. And he will do the same for you as you allow God to help you through those dreadful moments when we have to face our past. Therefore I know that you can and will make it through! You can and you will overcome and make it safely through your journey towards healing, to that place where you will find the comfort and peace that you are looking for.
Pray from your heart and he will hear you, he will reach out to you and stretch out his hand and rescue you. Trust Jesus no matter what, even if you feel its a small amount of trust or faith, use it. He will bring you through all that you are going through; even when you don't feel it, even when you think that he's not listening, even when it seem to you as though you aren't going to make it. He hears you, when you call out to him in faith no matter the amount of faith you have. Keep believing that you will receive the answer to your prayers no matter how it seems. Don't give up! I promise... It does get better and your heart will become lighter, stronger and the past won't hurt or haunt you anymore. It will pass!
I believe in you!
Much Love
Keren Valentin