Anorexia and Bulimia Nervosa are diseases that torment the mind, heart and soul with a vengeance. It's deceiving, selfish and blinding. Too many young woman suffer from this disorder and it's painful, and hard to control and difficult to overcome. But You or A Loved One Can Overcome!
Many who suffer from these disorders are survivors of childhood abuse, in any way shape or form. As children growing up without control the decision is made to find some sort of control; therefore driving themselves to starve or binge, feeling as though they were in control of their lives. Yet losing all control as the diseases begins to take over and control them. Giving them the elusion that they have the control yet too blind to see the truth. It's all really about control.
Anorexia Nervosa occurs typically in females between the ages of 12 and 21, but now more women who are older are being tormented by this disease. Those suffering from Anorexia Nervosa deliberately restrict themselves of food intake therefore weight loss is inevitable. Its features include:
(1) faulty perception of body image. (Seeing oneself fatter then they are)
(2) Considerable increase in bodily activity, non stop.
(3) Intense fear of gaining weight.
(5) Unusual eating habits
(6) Lost of appetite
Many with Anorexia' offer various rationalizations for this, making excuses or justifying their actions. The feelings felt are disgust, reactions to specific foods. Fear of choking or fear of not vomiting after eating.
Anorexia Nervosa is not a specific disorder. There is no nevrosis or psychosis, it is a mental disorder that runs out of control. Its a voluntary restriction of decreasing food intake in order to feel relieved.
Characterized by a pattern of eating binges, (eating everything and anything you can.) during which a large amount of food is ingested in a short period of time.
Each binge is followed with depression, self-criticism and a rigid diet. Bulimia occurs mostly in females from adolescence to early adulthood, extending over a period of many years. It includes vomiting and purging following eating.
(6) and other disturbances within the body and brain.
Don't Lose Hope
I remember many times when I kept food away, when it just disgust me. When not eating became a high that felt euphoric. I felt no pain, hurt or any uncomfortable feeling. Deceiving as it may have been, it kept me from feeling the pain I feared so much to face. I found myself on a high that seemed right at the time, yet it would have damaged my whole life if I had continued. I realized early on that it would destroy me and my family. I thank God that my eyes were open to the truth, and I realized that it wasn't worth it.
I know what it's like to look in the mirror and see a distorted image. I know what it's like to feel the urge of binging and not being able to control it, not being able to control the vomiting. To be angry and disappointed or depressed afterwards, I know!
As a survivor of childhood abuse dealing with various experienced, to a degrees I do know and understand the changes of these disorders. I've been through many changes, you could say I've been to hell and back. But there came a time when I had to take a hard look at everything that was going on. I had to decide if I wanted to live or die, if it was worth destroying my life, because of what others did. I had to realize that everything that took place in my life wasn't my Fault. That the pain brought on my life wasn't my doing.
As survivors we go through many changes, through much pain and anguish, but I want you to know that what happen to you wasn't your fault. You don't have to go on destroying your life.
IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT
You may have been told that it was your fault but it wasn't! You may have been told that you were bad or that you were fat, ugly, stupid or dirty and so on. But I am here to tell you that those were all lies and that those words are false in every way. You have to realize that you are a special person, that you are worth all that is good. That you are better then those who tried to destroy you, who lied and deceived you. You are good, lovely and worthy of living a good life.
Face your past no matter how hard it seems. You are a survivor and you are strong. Don't let those who hurt you win. Don't give them the satisfaction of seeing you destroyed, fight back, the power is within you. Take steps to your healing, reach out to someone who can help you. Reach out! Don't give in and don't give up! I know the walk towards healing is a hard walk but its worth it. I know how painful it is and how it may seem at the moment, but you can make it! I know you can, I did, and so have many others.